NEED ADVICE: So lost...Is this for me?

shadowplay · Joined: 11 Apr 2009 Posts: 3

I’m a massage therapist so I was excited about the stability and many opportunities of the radiography field. Money, security, stability...yeah those kinds of things were my main reason for wanting to do it. I know I’m good at patient skills, I enjoy working with people and making them comfortable. I’m now a second semester RAD student in a 2yr program. I’ve come too far to just bail but I’m having serious doubts if this is for me. Our program is, um, well...they treat you like a kindergartener and it’s frustrating. I’ve talked to other students, they feel the same and are just trying to cope too. My problem is in clinic sometimes too though. Most of the time I just really don’t feel I belong there. I have a hard time remembering which way and direction to angle, how much, etc. Now headwork isn’t clicking AT ALL. I don’t feel like I’m absorbing most of the info I’m being taught. I wonder if it’s me or the material or what. I feel like I’m “not getting it”, at least not like many of my classmates are. I’m also not doing well in physics AT ALL. I’m struggling and absolutely hate it. I also feel like some of the basic concepts we learned last semester have already ”fallen out” of my head. mAs, kv, how much and when to adjust them and why...my classmates seem to have that down pat but I seem to not grasp the bare basics.

I also feel like I’m not good at it, nor am I really passionate about it. Like, when everyone is looking at a radiograph and says “oh that’s so pretty!” I’m like “yeah ok”. I don’t feel like I “see” things others do. I truly wonder if it’s me because I describe it like this: I can’t see the Magic Eye things but I can find Waldo all day long.

I’ve changed my whole life around to do this and am scared I’ll regret it if I don’t finish, but also feel like I’m so bad at it that I may screw up royally, and I don’t want to do that to a patient.

I know that no one can tell me what to do, but could I please have some advice? Thanks in advance for anything!

hjhogle · Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 3:22 pm Post subject:

Whoa, slow down.

Let's summarize.

1). You don't like how "they" treat you.
2). You're comparing yourself to your classmates.
3). You're having a hard time remembering what you've learned.
4). You're having second thoughts.

Am I on track?

4). Second thoughts? Of COURSE you're having second thoughts. You've made a big decision and now you're scared you made the wrong one. Cut it out.

1). "They" who? Your classroom instructors? Radiographers at your clinical site?

Here are some thoughts about Radiographers. Remember, these are my opinions, things that I've learned in my career. But I'm no expert.

* You ARE a kindergartner. You don't know anything, you aren't helpful, and you slow them down. Pressure on Radiographers to do more patients in less time has increased exponentially in the last few years. Hospitals are being paid less by insurance companies, yet they're expected to provide the same level of service. One answer is more procedures in less time with less staff. You're upset because they're not helping you. Guess what? Their job isn't to help you. Their job is patient care and the production of diagnostic quality images. If, along the way, you get to learn from them? That's great. But they aren't responsible for your education - YOU ARE.

So stand up and take charge of your experience. You can't remember something - go find a Radiograher who's doing that exam. Watch them quietly, don't interrupt. When they're through or in between things, ask them how they do what they do. Let them know that their expertise is important to you - I found the Radiographer that all the Rads loved working with. I wanted to know how she did it. So whenever I had a chance, I watched her. Quietly, I didn't speak to her. After that went on for a week, she asked me what I was doing. I told her I liked how she did things, I was impressed with her professionalism, and I wanted to become the kind of Radiographer she was. She cracked up. BUT. She mentored me, even when I went to another clinical site. She was hard as hell on me - I will be forever grateful to her.

* Even if there were plenty of time and no pressure, not every Radiographer is a born mentor. Think of people you know in your massage therapy life. Is everyone you know good at everything .. always in a good mood .. always ready to encourage and support others .. good at teaching, good at explaining, good at helping? Good God, you're asking a lot from mere mortals. And hear me clearly - you will run into many much more difficult people in every job you ever take - whether you work in massage or healthcare. You'd better get used to it now. Suck it up. For heaven's sake - USE IT. Remember, every person is a good example. Some are a good example of professionalism. Others are a good example of .. something else. Watch difficult people carefully. How they sound, how they behave. Then when you notice that sound or that behavior coming from you (and you will), you can identify it quickly and stop it.

2) Your classmates are "getting it" and you're not. Ha! I love it. Now you know what's going on in the heads of others? If your ESP is that good, you ought to change careers for sure. The truth is, YOU THINK they're getting it more than you are. C'mon, we all know people who are really good at looking the part. Doesn't matter if they know a damn thing, they LOOK like they do. So what's going on with your classmates is none of your business. The issue isn't them, it's you.

You're feeling dumb because you think you're not getting it. Oh my God. You've been at this for .. 6 or 7 whote months and you're not an expert? Get out the whips, boys.

Honey, you need to do something about your expectations - yours are all whacked. You have unrealistic expectations of others and certainly of yourself.

REALITY CHECK. You are a student.. If you were expected to know everything, you could have saved yourself some $$ and skipped the program entirely, yes?

Difficult Radiographers? They're facing pressures that you know nothing about AND they're not responsible for your education. Give them some slack.

You? Drop the perfectionism. Remember you're a student - suck it up. Students always get to do the scut work - that's how the world is designed in any profession. USE THAT. Do anything thrown your way. If you need help, ask for it. You won't get it otherwise (no one else's ESP works, either). Pay attention. Write things down. Keep a pocket-sized notebook in your pocket and write down everything. Any time you get 2 seconds free, offer to help any Radiographer that's working. Don't necessarily expect them to slow down and talk you through it - let them do their job. Watch them carefully and ask questions later.

Stick just as close to difficult people as you would the born mentors. They have as much to teach you, it's just harder to hear.

Hospital radiography departments are not designed as eductional environments for students. They're designed for patient care - your education is an afterthought. So you be in charge of that. You want to see something, know something, practice something? Go get it.

Good luck, and don't forget to breathe
hjh, RT

shadowplay · Joined: 11 Apr 2009 Posts: 3

"Don't forget to breathe"...yeah that sums it up! Laughing

When I say they treat us like kindergarteners I was referring to is our teachers but I know that isn't just me. They act like they take everything so personally and literally go psycho over anything...literally. I have another 2yr degree and a Bachelor's and have never had anyone act the way these people do. I've talked to several people who are recent grads, they say take it with a grain of salt, get through and get out. I'm really thinking it's this particular program, other students in other programs say things are different. I know that I know nothing and I have no problems with that. Clinic seems to be fine in general, most techs are great! It's the classroom setting that is the most discouraging.

I don't have ESP but I hear and see so many of my classmates when they discuss stuff, sometimes it sounds like another language but just flows for them. I'm just terrified I'll flunk the physics b/c no matter what I do, I don't get it! I'm also irritated b/c our "radiographic analysis" teacher doesn't TEACH the class, she just gives busy work and we aren't really getting anything out of it.

I'm just afraid I won't do well and won't be able to do a good job in general. I don't feel passionate about it, I don't just love it like so many others seem to. THAT is what is bugging me the most and generating most of my doubts. I'll keep working at it and hope this passes.

Thanks for the reply btw!

hjhogle · Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 4:30 pm Post subject:

Sorry about the instructors - that stinks.

Don't tell anyone, but I had to take physics twice. I HATED physics.

But there were so many other things that I thoroughly enjoyed. I loved being in the clinical environment. The radiographers at my first clinical site were so amazing to me - they took pride in their work and pride in their profession. Granted, I thought the images were kind of cool, but I really just want to be one of "them". (Yeah, I was naive 19 year old).

My passion for my profession didn't awaken until I'd been at it for a few years and I realized that I was meant to do this, and that I was proud to do this.

Never can tell - it may happen for you, too.

hjh, RT